You need to find what I like to call an “Angel/Friend/Healing Partner” – It can be one of your best friends, or a trusting sister, or a level-headed spouse to help you through your battle. My Angel was my sister, who was so important to my overall well-being. I cannot even begin to tell you what I would have done if she were not in my life during this crisis. There were some days when I was so far down in my well of depression, that I never could have gotten out by myself. I was so “messed up” from the drugs I was taking, and my emotions were so raw that I fell to pieces fifty times a day. I was emotionally unbalanced, physically exhausted, and sometimes I was so terrified of everything, that I could only lie down and cry! I couldn’t have pulled myself out of that well at all, and yet my very life depended on it!
That was where my sister came in to help me. She was right there for me, every single time that I needed her. She unflinchingly reached down into that horrifying vacuum of a space that I found myself in, way too many times to count. She grasped me by the hands, or by the shirt collar, or whatever else she could reach down into and grab a hold of. Then she would sit me down and comfort me, giving me a brand new book to read from the library. People, I cannot even begin to tell you how that filled my mind with hope, with comfort, with renewed positive energy, and it always gave me a brand new plan of action. The book might have been about “energy healing,” or the Budwig Protocol, or it might have highlighted the basics of wheat grass therapy. Maybe it was a little unusual, like using Reiki, or color to help you heal your mind and body, or it introduced the concept of using intravenous vitamin C.
Each one was unique, and I was in awe of them! And each one put “me” back in the driver’s seat again, and it gave “me” back power for a while. It may have lasted for a week, or two, or maybe even a whole month, and then I was down in my horrible abyss again. However, my blessed angel was always there for me. She never gave up on me…even when I gave up on myself.
If you cannot handle this battle on your own, then I implore you to tell someone who you trust, to be an angel friend for you. Let them see this part of my note, so that they know they have one of the biggest responsibilities of your treatment and recovery. Sometimes they will be your lifeline…your flotation device. Their job description is simple. They just need to be strong, compassionate, and optimistic.
They need the strength so they can reach very far down at times, and they must have a strong backbone so they can pull you up and out of that dark space that you might find yourself in. And they might need to hold you tightly when you cry for a little while, and remind you of all the wonderful things that you have worth fighting for. I never realized that my sister could be this kind of person, and I thank God every single day that she was.
To this day, she still brings me books and keeps me informed of treatment options and helpful tidbits of news. She listens to me, and she unconditionally loves me in all aspects of my life.
I pray that you find the same kind of Angel, if you need it, during your treatment.
From one Survivor to another!